Having “too much” sex doesn’t make someone a sex addict; having sex fused with shame, secrecy, and betrayal does. Here are 10 ways to know if you or your partner has crossed the line from high libido into sex addiction.
1. People with high libidos are transparent with their partners. Sex addicts keep secrets; they manipulate and lie to their partners.
2. People with high libidos feel energized and fulfilled after an encounter. Sex addicts often feel shame and emptiness, then immediately start jonesing for their next fix.
3. People with high libidos have full lives in which their sexuality is just one part. Sex addicts’ lives contract and revolve around their sexual encounters.
4. People with high libidos see their partners as separate individuals with rights and boundaries. Sex addicts see their partners as objects existing solely for their own gratification, to be exploited and discarded at whim.
5. People with high libidos watch porn to enhance their sex lives or meet their sexual needs in between partners. Sex addicts watch porn because they prefer it to relationships with real people.
6. People with high libidos feel satisfied after they masturbate. Sex addicts often masturbate to the point of injury.
7. People with high libidos have successful relationships and careers. Sex addicts’ high-risk, obsessive, and often expensive sexual behavior results in shattered relationships and families, job loss, and financial ruin.
8. People with high libidos have sex that is relational – and, yes, casual sex can be relational! Sex addicts have sex to avoid intimacy.
9. People with high libidos don’t participate in sex acts that degrade them; sex addicts can’t stop participating in sex acts that degrade them.
10. People with high libidos run their sex lives. Sex addicts’ sex lives run them.’
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