Another end of year. This is the moment when many of us start setting New Year’s resolutions. I have little doubt that this is not the first time you have set goals for yourself. Maybe you’ve struggled in the past to make them stick.
No matter what you’ve tried, you may have found past habits creeping up again. The effort you put into changing your health lifestyle slowly slipping away.
Guess what? You are not alone. Close to 50% of adults set resolutions, but less than 10% actually maintain them for longer than a few months. Most get off track in the first 3 weeks.
You might be wondering what differentiates those people that actually stick to and actualize their goals from those that feel like they are riding a never-ending rollercoaster of highs and inevitable lows.
Those who succeed are not more or less human than you. What they have done is unlocked their deepest potential by releasing their past selves, worn out fears and limitations, and unhelpful thoughts and beliefs. They activate a way of being and doing that allows them to make their goals real with ease and flow.
I want to open up your mind into this new way of goal setting and habit shifting.
There are 3 systems to integrate when moving towards a goal:
The SMARTER system
For as long as I can remember, people only talked about 1 goal-setting system: The SMARTER system.
If you are not familiar with it, here is a quick overview:
Specific: Set real numbers with deadlines.Measurable: Make sure your goal is trackable to see progress.
Attainable: Focus on a goal that is challenging and outside of your comfort zone, but that you feel you can achieve.
Realistic: A goal that is achievable in a realistic time-frame you set.
Time-bound: Deadline is a must to stay focused on reaching your goal.
Enthusiastic: You need to be excited to reach this goal.
Reviewed/reward: Reward yourself when you reach a milestone, and always review your actions to improve them as you change.
This system is still a foundational part of setting goals and it should not be neglected. However, this system is only one part of creating successful goals. It is one facet of a larger system that I want to share with you.
There are actually 3 additional facets to setting goals successfully, and all of them are vital if you want to maximize the likelihood of a positive outcome:
- Step 1 – The SMARTER system
- Step 2 – The MOTIVATION system
- Step 3 – The ANCHORING system
We covered the SMARTER system above. Let’s dive into the 2 other systems that are the MISSING INGREDIENTS to why some people reach their goals and why others don’t.
The MOTIVATION system
‘If I could only get motivated, I would get back on track.’
‘I don’t feel motivated today. I will do it tomorrow.’
‘I tried before, I just need a break now. I will wait until Monday when I will feel like it again.’
Sound familiar? I know that when you started on your SMARTER goals, you felt super motivated and enthusiastic. You saw, for example, the number go down on the scale and you felt powerful. But, when you started seeing the numbers go down slower, or that new diet started making you HANGRY (That’s hungry and angry wrapped together in a pita pocket), or the workouts you were pushing yourself to do didn’t feel good anymore, the baby went out with the bath water.
You might have lost that elusive ‘motivation’. You might have neglected some of the actions you told yourself you were going to do, and your past habits started creeping back into your life (just like the weight). And this is where a MOTIVATION system is needed to stick to your plan or adapt it for more enjoyment.
The difference between people who stay motivated and people who don’t stay motivated isn’t that they found a ‘miracle’ solution, or have help, or see progress every single day, or jump out of bed like an excited puppy for their cardio session. It’s that they kept focusing on the end goal by following the MOTIVATION system. Let me explain.
First, let’s break what ‘motivation’ actually means. Motivation comes from the Latin word ‘movere’, which means ‘to move’. So, motivation is what moves you to take an action; the motive to keep going to take the actions needed.
The motivation system is about finding the motive, the 101 reasons why this goal is important to you, and to focus on it every single day until your goal is reached (and beyond). Because when you have 101 reasons why losing weight is important to you, it will fuel your actions and will keep you consistent and disciplined in your routine.
All the clients I work with that stick to their New Year’s resolutions beyond a few months, always stay focused on their SMART GOALS, but also on the 101 reasons why THEIR GOAL IS IMPORTANT. They stay consistent and disciplined in their routine and meaningfully motivated.
So, if your goal is to lose weight, why do you really want to lose weight? What 101 ways will losing weight change your life for the better? THIS is the motivational push you will need daily to stay on track. This will allow you to have a broader, more audacious vision to reach for beyond just today.
The ANCHORING system
The ANCHORING system is the cherry on the top. The icing on the cake. The thing that you have been missing all this time.
You can set SMARTER goals, write out your 101 reasons why they are important to you, and have your own MOTIVATION system, but there is a missing piece that, if not taken care of, will set you up to fall back on old habits.
First, I want you to understand that from the moment you were born, your mind has been making connections to events and situations and storing emotional responses to those experiences. I call them ‘emotional residue’. Think about people who are scared of spiders, or heights, or dogs. These are learned fears and not primal fears. Meaning, you had 1 bad interaction with a dog and your brain made a link that looks something like DOGS = DANGER. Everytime you see a dog, you get anxious. Your heart starts beating faster, you start sweating, and you just can’t focus anymore.
So, the fear of a dog became ANCHORED inside of your neural system. It is seeded deep into your subconscious and abides there as a form of emotional residue. It gets stuck beyond that first interaction with the dog and then generalized.
These learned beliefs and fears can also be passed down from your family, friends, and through social influence. If your parents had a fear of dogs, or of driving, or of eating cookies, these fears will seep into your inner programming, and become a REAL FEAR. This is sometimes referred to as generational beliefs.
Truth is, these learned fears are learned, which means we can unlearn them by rewiring the brain-body connection. This is what many are missing when wanting to create a lasting change with their health. Many people will ban the ‘bad’ foods from their home, but what happens when they are around that food? That learned fear and the beliefs about the food creeps up and they end up eating the whole box of cookies, or more. What is suppressed will always find a way to be expressed.
To truly break free from those unhealthy beliefs, you need to change the thinking process so that your actions stick.
By ANCHORING (reprogramming) your thoughts into empowering, powerful, and confident ones, you uncover how to truly BREAK FREE FROM YOUR PAST and CREATE YOUR DREAM FUTURE TODAY.
Here’s another way of looking at this. Think of yourself as a SMARTPHONE. Your negative thought and feeling patterns are an APP that is draining your battery endlessly. Fearing certain foods is draining your energy every single day when you are around them, just like that exhausting App.
You can keep that App, burn out, or binge eat, or you can delete that App (choose to see the food differently), download a more powerful empowering App (anchor a new way of seeing food), and ground yourself in longer lasting, positive energy.
Together, we can make this happen by breaking free from a past that no longer aligns with your goals – unhelpful patterns that drain your energy and inner power – and REINSTALL a new operating system and empowering App. Create your dream future today and discover that no goal is unachievable.
Need help to break free from the past and say hello future?
Join Dina Merhbi for a 7-day Journey to help you change your current story by breaking free from old patterns and becoming the person you want to be.
Go on a journey of self-discovery through our guided coaching experience. Start today. Download the Huddol App now.
Huddol helps you wake up to your very best self:
- Overcome negative self-talk and shift your mindset
- Build life-changing habits that nurture well-being and help you achieve your goals
- Cultivate deep self-awareness and learn the art of self-mastery
- Build relationships and family connections that nurture gratitude
- Say goodbye to pain, fatigue, burnout and stress and access boundless energy
- Explore the ancient practices of meditation, stillness and mind-body alignment
